From Psalm 77
Hope from Today's Reading:
"When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. ... Then my spirit made a diligent search." (Psalm 77:3, 6 ESV)
Maybe you've been there too—looking around, you see her or him or those people who "remember God" and quickly, easily magnify. Yet you, like the psalmist, remember God and moan.
I just don't see it like they do. I just don't see Him. I'm trying to understand, trying to think better, to feel better—God knows I'd love to be hopeful and joyful and all the things I'm "supposed to be" when I think about Him. He offers those things, supposedly. What's wrong with me that I don't see it?
Nothing's wrong with you. You don't see it only because you have yet to search.
In Psalm 77:6, the psalmist says again, "Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart." It's like he's taken a deep breath and is ready to try again. But in this second attempt to console his troubled mind, he doesn't stop with the songs or meditations that already fill it. Those haven't helped him very much. Instead, he writes, "My spirit made a diligent search."
Good, godly, hope-centered, joy-filled thoughts aren't found in your head. At least, not until your head is filled with God's word. You don't see things like she does? You don't understand like him? You don't see or feel what He's promised? Ask. Seek. Knock. Search. (See Matthew 7:7-11).
It's not automatic. But it's guaranteed: our God is a rewarder of those who seek Him.